Until the Day I Die
by ALittleBitofEverything101
Summary: Season 1 Episode 13. Arthur, confused by Merlin's strange behavior, follows Merlin to the Isle of the Blessed. He hears everything that happened between Nimueh and Merlin. When Nimueh dies, Merlin collapses. Arthur believes he is dead. Merthur.
1. The Isle of the Blessed

**So, this is kind of my challenge to myself. I'm writing one fanfiction for each episode of Merlin. Some are one-shots, some are longer stories. I ran out of ideas for fanfictions so this is how I'm dealing with that. If anyone has any prompts for me, feel free to leave it in a review and if I write it after I finish writing these 65 stories, I'll dedicate it to you… so, thanks. And I give you Season 1 Episode 13.**

**Summary: Arthur, confused by Merlin's strange behavior, follows Merlin to the Isle of the Blessed. He hears everything that happened between Nimueh and Merlin. When Nimueh dies, Merlin collapses. Arthur believes he is dead. Merthur.**

**Story 13: Until the Day I Die**

**Chapter 1: The Isle of the Blessed**

"I'm happy to be your servant. Till the day I die," Merlin told Arthur seriously. Merlin almost felt guilty as he told Arthur that. He knew his life would be marked by hours, not years, but he wouldn't let his mother die on his account. It was his responsibility to keep Arthur safe, not hers.

"Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times…" Arthur said shaking his head. There was something strange about his manservant. Merlin continued to surprise him.

"Well I know you. And you're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king," Merlin told him.

Arthur had to suppress the pride that swelled in him at Merlin's words. For some reason, hearing praise from Merlin was different than hearing it from his knights. Perhaps it was because he knew Merlin was brutally honest with him so when he handed out praise, he meant it. "That's very kind of you," Arthur managed to say.

"But you must learn to listen as well as you fight," Merlin warned. It was a weakness for Arthur to be incapable of taking criticism.

Arthur rolled his eyes. He was a great listener. He had no idea what Merlin was talking about. "Any other pointers?" Arthur asked him.

"No. That's it. Just… don't be a prat," Merlin requested.

Arthur stared at him. "Are you sure you're not trying to leave my service?" Arthur asked concerned. Merlin sounded like he was giving him his last piece of advice.

"Positive," Merlin told him. "Until the day I die." Merlin walked towards the door to Arthur's chambers. Right before he opened the door, he turned. "Goodbye Arthur."

With that, Merlin walked out the door. Arthur stared at the closed doors for a moment before he shook his head. He couldn't concern himself with Merlin's odd behavior. He had much work to catch up on since he had been unable to do work while he was unconscious.

Arthur tried to concentrate on one of the reports that had been passed on to him for review. He couldn't though. All he could do was puzzle over what Merlin had said. He spoke as if he were leaving.

Arthur pushed the thick parchment aside. It was futile trying to concentrate. He would just have to go speak with Merlin and sort out what was making him act so strange.

Arthur wandered towards the chambers that Gaius and Merlin shared. He opened the door and was shocked to see someone lying on Gaius's bed. Her infliction was obvious in the flickering candle light. After Arthur looked closer, he realized it was Hunith, Merlin's mother. No wonder Merlin was acting so strangely. His mother was dying.

Arthur tiptoed to Merlin's chambers with every intention of demanding why he had kept this from him, but when he opened the door, Merlin wasn't there.

Arthur started to leave Gaius's chambers when he caught sight of a piece of parchment on the wooden table. It had Merlin's name on it.

Arthur scanned the note and froze as pieces of it stuck out. He got the gist of the note. Gaius was going to sacrifice himself for Merlin, but how? And Gaius told Merlin he would become the greatest warlock ever, but that would mean Merlin has magic!

Arthur kept rereading that line as if he expected it would change the more times it was read. But it never did. It always said 'greatest warlock ever.'

Arthur threw the note aside. He couldn't even begin to comprehend the emotions going through him right now.

Arthur looked out the window in Gaius's chambers as if it would help him understand what he had just read. It was there that he saw Merlin preparing a horse at the stables.

Arthur didn't think, he just ran. He didn't know what he planned to do, he just knew he needed answers. He needed answers to questions he didn't even know how to ask.

When he got outside, it was to see Merlin tearing through the city. Arthur ran into the stables and hopped on a horse bareback. He hated riding like this, but right now it was necessary. He tried to ignore how uncomfortable he was already and how much pain he would be in later.

He followed Merlin with relative ease. Merlin was so distracted he didn't even notice that he had a follower. Though, Arthur credits some of that to his tracking skills refined through years of hunting.

Arthur knew when they were close, because he heard a woman chanting. Merlin picked up his speed. When Arthur heard Merlin shout, "Stop!" He stopped in his tracks. He was close enough to hear everything that happened. Arthur got off his horse, wincing as his sore thighs rubbed together. He didn't know how he rode a horse without a saddle when he was a child. It was almost unbearable.

"Back again so soon, warlock?" The woman asked. Arthur crept behind a giant piece of stone. He peeked around it and was startled that he recognized the woman. You never forget the face of the person who tried to kill you. She was the woman that had tried to lead him to his death when he had been searching for the flower to save Merlin.

"What have you done?" Merlin asked. He sounded heartbroken. Arthur risked another peek and immediately understood why. Gaius was lying against a slab of stone. He didn't look like he was breathing. Arthur understood and shared in Merlin's distress. Gaius had treated Arthur since he was just an infant. He had come to care for the elderly physician.

"Your mother is safe. Isn't that what you wanted?" The woman asked. Arthur closed his eyes. This was how Gaius was sacrificing himself for Merlin. It didn't seem right that a sorcerer got to live while a man that spent his life serving the royal family had to die.

"Have you killed him?" Merlin asked. Arthur could hear the hysterical tone in Merlin's voice that indicated he was fighting tears. Gaius had called Merlin the son he never had, so Arthur was sure Gaius was like a father to him. Arthur's anger was combatting with his grief. He didn't know whether to be angry at Merlin or mourn Gaius's death.

"It was his wish," the woman told him. Arthur thought she was getting far too much pleasure out of the pain she had inflicted.

"I bid my life for Arthur's, not my mother's, not Gaius's!" Merlin yelled. Arthur froze where he was. He couldn't move if he tried. In a moment of clarity, Arthur considered everything that had happened. He had been told that his wound should have been fatal. And apparently it had been. Whatever Merlin and Gaius had given him had been altered by magic to save him from death. Merlin had been willing to sacrifice his life for Arthur's.

Suddenly Arthur swelled with anger. He dropped to his knees, unable to support himself with everything running through his head. He was happy he remembered how to breathe. Merlin had known that he was going to die. He had planned it. That's why he said all that mumbo jumbo about serving Arthur until the day he died. Arthur experienced a fury unlike any other. How dare he? Did he think that no one would care? Did he think by withholding this from Arthur it would make it easier for him to leave? Arthur knew if Merlin died he would never be the same. He thought his manservant realized how much Arthur needed him.

"The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies! Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken. Gaius knew this," the woman said.

"It is not the Old Religion that has done this. It is you," Merlin said, his voice quiet. The hairs on Arthur's neck stood on edge. He had never heard Merlin sound so dangerous before.

"Come now. We are too valuable to each other to be enemies," the woman told Merlin.

Arthur cocked his head listening intently. He wasn't sure how he felt about Merlin's magic. Part of him had already forgiven him for his magic. It's hard not to when you hear the sacrifice someone has made for you. But he was still angry Merlin had kept it from him for over a year. He wasn't sure what Merlin would say to the witch's claim.

"No!" Merlin shouted. "I share nothing with you!"

Arthur let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't doubted Merlin, not exactly. But he hadn't been certain until that moment that Merlin deserved his trust. Now he knew.

"With my help, Arthur will become king," the woman declared. Arthur had to suppress his snort. He was pretty sure laughing would give him away. The idea of this woman helping him become king was ridiculous. She would probably kill him and take the throne as soon as he became king.

"I will make Arthur king. But you will never see that day," Merlin warned. Arthur listened as Merlin said a strange word. He looked around the stone pillar and saw Merlin shoot fire at the sorceress.

The witch was able to catch the fire he had thrown towards her. "Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin. I am a priestess of the Old Religion," she said. She muttered something that sounded like it was the same language Merlin had used before. She launched a fire ball at Merlin. He easily dodged it. "You, too, are a creature of the Old Religion. You should join me."

Arthur didn't understand how Merlin was a creature of the old religion. Sure he had magic, but many people did. That didn't make them creatures of the Old Religion. Or maybe it did. Arthur wasn't very familiar with their rituals.

"You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never," Merlin spat. Arthur felt pride rise up in him. He was proud of Merlin.

"So be it," the woman said. She used the same spell Merlin had. Instead of a constant stream of fire like Merlin's spell, she formed a fire ball in her fist. She threw it and it hit Merlin square on the chest. Arthur watched with horror as Merlin was thrown backwards several feet.

He wanted to call out and help in some way, but he knew that would be useless. The witch turned and started to walk away. He knew the witch was stronger than him and capable of using magic but that didn't stop Arthur from entertaining the notion that he could sneak up on her and stab her with his sword before she noticed.

It turned out that Arthur didn't need to. Merlin rose and sent the witch a look that Arthur hoped would never be directed towards him. "You should not have killed my friend," Merlin told her. Merlin sounded like he had nothing more to lose. He raised his hand towards the darkening sky and summoned lightning. The lightning moved slowly and fast all at once. It struck the witch with such a force that in a matter of seconds, she was gone. If Arthur had blinked, he would have missed it, yet he felt like it had lasted forever. Arthur had seen the look of pain, fear, and shock that mixed together to form the witch's expression. It was a look he hoped to never see again.

Arthur stared. He never would have guessed of the power Merlin possessed. It was frightening. For the first time, Arthur was grateful he wasn't Merlin's enemy.


	2. Equal

**Season 1 Episode 13.**

**Story 13: Until the Day I Die**

**Chapter 2: Equal**

Arthur crawled out from behind the stone pillar. He didn't think he was capable of walking. For a moment Merlin wavered on his feet and then he collapsed. The second he collapsed, Gaius's eyes flew open. "Merlin?" He croaked, looking around and squinting to figure out where he was. He saw Merlin lying on the ground. "Merlin!"

Arthur got there first. He felt like he was moving in slow motion, like he couldn't get to Merlin quick enough.

Arthur shook Merlin, but he didn't wake up. "Merlin?" He asked. His voice was barely audible. "Merlin?" He tried again, but wasn't able to get much more volume. Despair washed over him. He knew this had been Merlin's ultimate goal. He had come here to sacrifice himself for Gaius.

Arthur didn't want to believe that he was gone. It was too soon. Merlin was supposed to be his servant until the day he died. That wasn't supposed to be today. That was supposed to be far in the future when Arthur was ready to say goodbye. He most certainly wasn't ready now.

Arthur couldn't help himself as he cradled Merlin's body. He knew he was crying, he could feel it in the stinging of his eyes. He was just grateful that it was raining so Gaius wouldn't notice. The rain was affecting Gaius's ability to walk, but eventually he was able to traverse the slippery gravel and make it to Merlin.

Gaius put his head close to Merlin's chest. "He still breathes," Gaius said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Why did this happen?" Arthur asked. "Surely the witch's life would be enough. Merlin said before that you need to sacrifice a life to give a life."

For the first time, Gaius seemed to realize that it was Arthur that was here. The knowledge that Arthur knew about Merlin's magic hit him like a ton of bricks and he was unable to form a coherent statement.

Arthur understood his hesitation. "Please Gaius," Arthur pleaded. "I can't lose him. Gawk over this later. Right now, I need to know if Merlin is dying."

"I can't be certain your highness," Gaius said, finally recovering himself. "The Old Religion is a tricky one. The life of a high priestess may satisfy the debt and restore the balance of nature, but I can't be sure."

"It must not have," Arthur said. It was finally hitting him that Merlin was going to die. There was nothing he would be able to do for him. "Why else would he be like this?"

"He is wounded sire," Gaius said neutrally. "He has severe burns on his chest and he must have hit the back of his head. His injuries may have caused his collapse. Also, in his weakened state, his magic could have taken more energy than he had to offer. Merlin is powerful, but the more exhausted you are, the more difficult it is to yield magic. But it could also be that his life is being offered to the Old Religion. There is no way for us to know. We must get him back to my chambers so I can properly dress his wounds or he will die, whether his life was sacrificed or not."

Arthur nodded. "Where is your horse?" Arthur asked.

"Right ahead," Gaius said. "I imagine the other horse is Merlin's." Gaius looked around, a confused expression settling on his face. "Sire where is your horse?"

"It doesn't matter. Merlin cannot ride by himself when he is not conscious. I will ride with him," Arthur said.

Gaius raised his eyebrows in surprise, but did not voice any complaints.

They both mounted their horses, Arthur taking great care not to harm Merlin further and they departed for Camelot. For hours they road. Arthur had finally managed to stop his tears, but hadn't been able to do anything to rid himself of the fear and despair gnawing in his stomach. Every minute they were away from Camelot was a minute closer to Merlin's death.

It seemed like a lifetime before the gates that surrounded the citadel were in view. Arthur dismounted his horse and gingerly picked up Merlin. Gaius had warned him that too much jostling could worsen his injuries. He walked at the physician's pace knowing that it would do him no good to arrive before Gaius.

When they arrived, Gaius cleared off the table with a sweep of his arm and lay a blanket down. Arthur gently placed Merlin on the table. He stood at Merlin's head and watched while Gaius examined him. Gaius bandaged the back of Merlin's head. He had to clean it first. Arthur watched with grotesque interest as Gaius picked out pieces of rock and dirt from the wound. He poured alcohol over it to sterilize the wound. Arthur was grateful that Merlin wasn't conscious to feel the pain. It was rather a deep cut on the back of his head and Arthur knew how much the alcohol hurt.

Once his head injury had been properly treated, Gaius moved on to his burns. Gaius had to cut off Merlin's tunic and Arthur saw the angry red burns that covered Merlin's chest. He winced, but refused to look away. Merlin was hurt because of him. It was the least he could do to fully understand what Merlin had withstood for him.

It took Gaius hours to treat the burns. He had explained that there were various stages of the burns. There were smaller burns that surrounded some more severe burns. Gaius alternated between smearing a yellow lotion over his chest and putting cooling cloths over him. Arthur wasn't sure what the purpose was as the burns didn't look any better, but he held his tongue. Gaius knew what he was doing.

Once Gaius had finished with his treatment, he coated Merlin's chest with the yellow lotion and wrapped it securely. "That's all I can do for him," Gaius said with a sigh. "The rest will be up to him."

Arthur nodded, not taking his eyes off of Merlin. "There's nothing to do but wait," Gaius said, hinting to the prince that it was time for him to leave.

"I'll not leave him," Arthur said in an even voice.

"But sire," Gaius said shocked. "You are not yet recovered from the wound you received from the questing beast. You must rest."

Arthur sighed. "I don't care. I will live. I don't know if I can say the same for Merlin. I will stay," Arthur said. Nothing would budge him on this.

"Very well sire," Gaius said. He looked around uncomfortably. It wouldn't be proper for him to sleep while Arthur was still here.

"You can sleep Gaius," Arthur said gently. "I am not oblivious to your fatigue. Don't worry about me. I'll wake you if there's any change."

"Thank you sire," Gaius said gratefully. He truly was exhausted.

Despite how uncomfortable the prince's presence made him, Gaius managed to fall asleep within seconds of getting into bed.

Once Arthur was sure Gaius was asleep, he pulled a stool up to the table Merlin was lying on and took his hand. He rubbed soothing circles into the back of his hand, willing him to wake up.

He didn't and eventually Arthur found himself dozing off. His nightmares were filled with strange images and events. He saw Merlin die one thousand different ways and Arthur was always left all alone.

Arthur was pulled from his sleep by a strange movement. For a moment, he had forgotten where he was. He couldn't figure out why his back and neck ached, nor why he was sitting in a dark room.

It took him several moment to remember how he had come to be there, but the second he did, he sat up straight. He waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Bryne," someone muttered and suddenly Gaius's chambers were filled with light.

Arthur's squinted his eyes at the unexpected light. Once his eyes had adjusted, he looked towards the source of the spell. "Merlin," Arthur whispered. "You're awake." Arthur couldn't help the emotions that filled him. He couldn't stop himself when he wrapped his arms around Merlin. He knew he was being reckless. He knew anyone could walk in, but he didn't care.

Without thinking about it, he lightly pressed his lips to Merlin's. It took him a split second to realize what he was doing and he immediately pulled back. "I'm so sorry," Arthur said quickly. "I'm just relieved that you are awake. We weren't sure if you were going to live. Gaius said the Old Religion can be tricky and that Nimueh's life might not be able to fulfill the debt, but it was. You're alive."

Merlin stared at Arthur. He could see Arthur's mouth moving, but he couldn't hear a word he had said. His heart was pounding in his ears eliminating all other sound. His lips were tingling from where Arthur had kissed him. He couldn't think about anything else.

It had been so unexpected and Merlin had never ever thought about the prince like that. It was now impossible to ignore his feelings. They seemed clear as day. Merlin realized they had always been there, he had just been ignorant of them. He had been too preoccupied with saving Arthur's life and running errands for Gaius and cleaning up after Arthur and making sure Camelot was safe from everyone that wanted to harm it, that he hadn't had time to consider his feelings. Not until now.

Merlin could see that Arthur was still talking. What he was saying, he had no idea. He put his finger over Arthur's lips effectively silencing him. He knew Arthur would be looking at him confused, but Merlin had closed his eyes. He had a decision to make.

He could pretend that nothing had happened. He knew Arthur would be too embarrassed to say anything further. They could go on to live ordinary lives. Merlin would serve Arthur as he was destined to do and he could ignore the tension that would undoubtedly build between them. Merlin immediately shied away from that option. He would never be content pretending this had never happened. He would never be content not knowing what might have been.

Or he could kiss him back. He could let Arthur know he had these feelings for him and hope that Arthur hadn't just kissed him by accident. Their relationship would have to be a secret if it existed at all. Keeping secrets wasn't anything new to Merlin, but this was different. No one could know about this, not even Gaius. But Merlin could be happy.

Merlin had made the decision before he had consciously thought of it. He leaned towards Arthur, tentatively brushing his lips against Arthur's. He waited for some hint that Arthur wanted this, that his kiss before hadn't just been an accident.

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's neck, drawing him closer. He deepened the kiss. It was an explosion of feeling for both men. Although Arthur was three years his elder and was his prince, it didn't seem it now. For the first time in his life, Merlin felt like he was Arthur's equal.


	3. Not So Discrete

**Season 1 Episode 13.**

**Story 13: Until the Day I Die**

**Chapter 3: Not So Discrete**

After that, it was impossible to hide their feelings for one another. They had tried. They knew they could never be together and they tried to stay away from one another. The tension was so unbearable, they didn't make it more than four days before they cracked.

Eventually they came up with a solution. Neither liked the fact that Merlin had to be a secret, but Arthur knew there was no other way. He feared the danger Merlin would be put in if people knew that the prince was in a relationship with a man. They had decided that when Arthur became king, he would let his people know he was in a relationship with a man, but he wouldn't tell them who. Depending on their reaction, he would decide whether to tell them it was Merlin.

They both agreed this precaution was a necessary one. It was of utmost importance that no one find out about Merlin until they were certain he wouldn't be harmed.

They thought they were being so discrete and that no one knew they were sneaking around to have a relationship. They were so very, very wrong.

The first person to find out was Gaius.

It was nearly two years after the incident at the Isle of the Blessed. Representatives from all five kingdoms gathered to sign a treaty of peace, an unprecedented event. The Lady Vivian had traveled with her father to Camelot and Arthur had become besotted with her. Merlin had instantly known that Arthur was under the influence of a love potion or spell. When Gaius asked how, Merlin simply told him that he knew.

Gaius accepted that answer and began to help Merlin with his arduous task of finding an antidote to bring Arthur back to his senses. When they found out that Arthur would be battling King Olaf for the right to Lady Vivian's hand, Merlin continued his search with a renewed vigor. Gaius had never seen him so upset. It was as if this were tearing him apart. Gaius kept his observations to himself. He didn't want to upset Merlin further by prying into it. Eventually, they had to accept that without knowing what type of potion was used on him there would be no way to cure him.

Merlin sighed. He knew what he had to do. He had to consult with Kilgharrah. "I'll be back," Merlin told Gaius as he jumped to his feet. He didn't have any more time to spare.

Merlin snuck down to Kilgharrah and in a rush explained what had happened. Kilgharrah spoke in riddle which irritated Merlin more than usual. Arthur's life was on the line! And Kilgharrah was spewing out things like, "there is only one force on Earth more powerful than magic." Finally when Merlin couldn't take it anymore, he snapped. "Just tell me!" He shouted.

The great dragon seemed surprised by the venom in Merlin's voice. "Isn't it obvious? The greatest force of all is love," Kilgharrah told Merlin.

"Love?" Merlin asked incredulously. Love is what got them into this mess.

"You must find the person Arthur truly loves," Kilgharrah explained. "One kiss from her…"

Merlin didn't hear the rest of what Kilgharrah had said, he was already running away. He ignored the fact that Kilgharrah assumed it had to be a woman that Arthur loves most. He knew now that he had the power to end this.

Merlin ran to where the tournament was being held. He didn't see anyone fighting on the field and he could see the viewers talking amongst themselves. Merlin knew that meant there must be a break in the fighting. That meant Arthur would be in his tent. Merlin entered without announcing himself. He wasn't surprised to see Gaius patching up Arthur's wounds.

"Merlin," Arthur said with a dazed smile. "Are you here to wish me luck in my fight for the Lady Vivian?"

"Gaius, I need you to leave us," Merlin said quietly.

Gaius nodded. He paused as he passed Merlin. "Did you figure out how to help him?" Gaius asked hopefully.

Merlin nodded. "There's only one thing that can combat a spell that has captured one's heart," Merlin said. He didn't offer any more information and Gaius didn't ask for more.

Gaius stood outside puzzling over Merlin's words. He had heard something about combatting love potions when he had studied magic as a boy. It was on the tip of his memory. He could remember learning it, but he couldn't remember what it was.

Inside the tent, Merlin had stormed up to Arthur. He had pushed him up against one of the support beams inside the tent. Merlin crushed his lips to Arthur's. For a moment nothing happened and Merlin feared he had been wrong. He feared that Arthur's feelings for him weren't the same as his feelings for Arthur.

Then Arthur was kissing him back. After a moment Arthur pulled back. "What the hell happened?" He asked. He winced as he felt the impact of his injuries.

"You're fighting for the Lady Vivian's hand in marriage," Merlin told him.

Arthur's eyes widened. "I… Lady Vivian… marriage? What?" Arthur yelped. He put his hand to his head, hoping with all his might that he might have imagined what Merlin just said.

"Listen Arthur," Merlin said urgently. "This is Alined's doing. He doesn't want peace, he wants war. You mustn't kill Olaf and you mustn't let him kill you else Camelot and all the kingdoms be doomed."

"I must tell my father," Arthur said. "Alined will be punished."

"No!" Merlin shouted. "Weren't you listening? If you expose Alined you will be setting yourself up for war!"

"So I'm just supposed to ignore what he did to me?" Arthur asked incredulously.

"Yes," Merlin said softly. "If you won't do it for peace, do it for me. Please don't say anything to your father. If you do, you would have to tell him how the spell was broken. There's no easy way to say your manservant is your true love."

Arthur's jaw stiffened, but eventually he agreed. He let out an angry growl. "Can't you at least make Alined cough up toads or something?" Arthur asked hopefully.

Merlin chuckled. "No, I won't do that," he said with a smile. He was glad Arthur's sense of humor returned. A horn sounded, indicating it was time for Arthur to return to the field. Merlin kissed him gently. "Don't die. For me, don't die."

"I won't," Arthur promised as he left the tent.

Merlin left to go stand by Gaius and watch the tournament. Every blow against Arthur made Merlin wince. He feared Arthur would not be able to stop King Olaf from killing him.

His fears proved incorrect. Arthur feinted and managed to knock Olaf's sword out of his hand. Arthur threw his own sword to the side.

"It is not war I seek, but peace. I am sorry for my ignorance. I hope that this will not damage the peace we have come here to forge," Arthur said loudly so all could hear him. He offered his hand to Olaf.

Olaf accepted it and allowed Arthur to pull him to his feet. "What changed your mind?" Olaf asked him curiously.

"I realized that I was allowing my whims to affect my judgment. We came here to sign a peace treaty between the five great nations, not to force ourselves to war," Arthur told him. "I was overwhelmed when the Lady Vivian expressed her affections for me. I have never been in that position before and I did not respond appropriately.

Olaf chuckled lightly. "It happens to the best of us," he said in an understanding tone. "You have a good head on your shoulders, something you didn't acquire from your father."

"No," Arthur agreed, making eye contact with Merlin and shooting him a small smile. Gaius glanced at Merlin and was surprised to see the pride and affection present in his expression.

It was then that Gaius remembered. The only way to combat a spell that has ensnared the heart is with true love's kiss. It was like a light bulb went off in his head.

He finally understood.

The second person to find out was Gwen.

She had been running errands in Camelot. Since Morgana had betrayed Arthur and Camelot, Gwen hasn't had a specific job to do. She was still a servant in the royal household, but she had much more free time now.

She was walking past the stables when she heard two voices arguing. It didn't seem violent, but Gwen paused just to make sure. If she thought two men were going to fight, she would fetch the guards. The last thing they needed was for the stable helps to kill each other.

When she listened closer, she was shocked to hear that it was Merlin and Arthur that were fighting. "You promised," Merlin had said. Gwen was surprised to hear how upset he sounded. "You promised that you would refuse to marry."

Gwen frowned. News of Arthur's engagement to the Princess Elena had spread through the kingdom like wildfire. She couldn't understand why Merlin was so upset. It's not like he would have to stop serving Arthur once he married. Merlin's job would be safe. Unless Arthur had decided that he wouldn't need a servant when he had a wife. In that case, Merlin's fear may have been justified. He had worked for the prince for a very long time. Finding new work would be difficult for him.

Feeling immensely guilty, Gwen continued to listen. "I didn't have a choice," Arthur said. "My father tricked me. I had no intention of marrying Elena, but he forced me into it. Do you know what he told me when I told him I didn't have feelings for her? He told me to find some."

"So what now?" Merlin asked furiously. "Am I supposed to serve you and your future bride? Am I supposed to stand aside and let this happen?"

"No," Arthur said quietly. He spoke so quietly that Gwen had to strain to hear his words. "I'm sorry that this is happening. I don't want you to be hurt. If it would be easier on you, you could leave."

Gwen knew she shouldn't keep listening, but she couldn't stop herself. It was like when she was reading one of the few books her father had been able to afford. She couldn't pull herself away.

"Or you could not marry Lady Elena," Merlin retorted. "I can't leave, you know that as well as I do. And I don't want to leave. I don't want to leave you."

Gwen's jaw dropped. She felt as if she had just placed the last piece of a very confusing puzzle. She knows what their words were implying, but it couldn't be true. It wasn't possible. A relationship such as theirs was unheard of.

"I don't want you to leave," Arthur said honestly. "But I would rather that than have to look at you every day and see how much my relationship with Elena is hurting you. I cannot go against my father's wishes. It would shatter the alliance with Lord Godwyn."

"Arthur, please," Merlin whispered. Gwen was shocked by how broken Merlin's voice sounded.

Arthur sighed. "I love you Merlin, but even love can't save us this time," he said sadly.

"I refuse to accept that," Merlin said. Gwen was only given a split second warning before she heard the stable door being pushed open. Gwen rushed to the side of the stables so she wouldn't be seen. She stood there for a moment with her hand on her head, unable to comprehend what she had just heard. It made so much sense, yet the idea of a relationship of two men seemed so foreign to her. She closed her eyes, accepting what she had heard.

She finally understood.

Next was Lancelot. He discovered their secret when the Dorocha attacked Merlin. He could see it in Arthur. In the way that Arthur panicked when Merlin had been hit by a Dorocha. By the way that when Lancelot looked back, Arthur was watching Merlin ride away as if part of his heart were on that horse as well.

While they were resting on their way back to Camelot, he heard Merlin whispering in his sleep about Arthur and his need to keep Arthur safe. Lancelot kept what he heard to himself, he never shared it with Merlin. When he stepped through the veil, it wasn't for Arthur, nor for the promise he had made to Gwen. It was for the greatest, most noble man he had ever met. For the man that deserved love and happiness more than any other. It was for Merlin.

Lancelot understood.


	4. Not So Secret

**Season 1 Episode 13.**

**Story 13: Until the Day I Die**

**Chapter 4: Not So Secret**

The next people to find out were Arthur's knights. It was a common joke amongst them that Merlin was the only one capable of harassing the king and getting away with it.

For years they had observed the strange friendship between Merlin and Arthur. They had puzzled over it, but had never questioned it. But then Merlin went missing and they finally had the last piece of their puzzle.

They had been traveling to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. Merlin had been hurt and Arthur had helped Merlin to his feet, trying to get him to safety.

There was a rock fall separating Merlin and the mercenaries from Arthur. Arthur was no idiot. He knew that was Merlin's doing. He had sacrificed himself to keep Arthur safe. Arthur had fought tooth and nail to try to get to the other side of the rock fall, but it was futile. The rock fall was impregnable.

Arthur rushed back to Camelot with every intention of rallying men for a search party. His knights had never seen the king in such a state. He had been pouring over a map, deciding where to dispatch his men to search for Merlin when Gaius walked in. Gaius looked around, his face clouding with worry when he didn't spot the one he wanted to see. "Where's Merlin?" He asked. He didn't look away from Arthur.

Arthur looked down and took a deep breath. "He's alive. Last I saw of him, he was still alive," Arthur told him. He turned to Leon. "Dispatch patrols at first light. Scour every inch of that forest. I want him found. We will not rest until he is safely back at Camelot."

Leon frowned slightly, but nodded to the king's orders. Leon and the knights left to fulfill Arthur's request.

"Did you ever think that maybe…" Alvric, one of the knights, began to say once they were outside.

"I know what you're thinking, but no. Merlin is just his friend. That's why he's in such a state," Leon said. He didn't sound as confident as he usually did and he knew why. The problem was, he wasn't so sure himself.

Back in the council chambers, Arthur spoke to Gaius. "We'll find him, Gaius," Arthur promised. His voice was hollow. He couldn't lose Merlin. "We will." Arthur wasn't sure who he was trying to convince. Gaius or himself.

Gaius bowed and walked out of the chambers. He felt a pang in his heart. He knew what Arthur was going through. He knew how difficult it was to lose a loved one.

Gaius couldn't believe that the entire kingdom didn't realize Arthur's feelings for Merlin. Right now, he was not doing a very good job at hiding them. He looked like he was already mourning the loss of his heart.

The following night, Arthur was in the council chambers listening as his uncle and his knights gave their reports.

"We have scoured the forest," Agravaine explained.

"Scour it again," Arthur said stubbornly.

"Sire, there is no sign of Merlin," Leon said slowly.

"None… but… this," Agravaine said approaching Arthur. Agravaine handed Arthur a scrap of Merlin's bloody jacket. "I am sorry you've lost such a loyal and…"

Arthur held his hand up to stop Agravaine. He knew what that scrap meant. It meant Merlin was truly gone. He didn't want to hear people tell him they are sorry he lost a loyal manservant, because that is not what he lost. He lost the man he loves, the man who would do anything for him. Including sacrifice his life. This had been Merlin's last sacrifice to him.

Arthur closed his eyes, forcing himself to control his emotions. He could mourn later. Right now, he had to act like a king that only lost his manservant.

That night, Arthur let the loss hit him. He wasn't saying goodbye, not exactly. He was still going to find Merlin. He just let go of the possibility he would find Merlin alive. Arthur knew that Merlin could not have survived the wound inflicted by the mace this long. Not with the shoddy job Arthur did with bandaging it.

Arthur ordered his guards not to enter no matter what they heard. Then he allowed himself to mourn. He threw stuff and didn't care how loud he was being, nor how much of a mess he was making. He didn't care that he was crying like a child.

At one point, he found himself thinking that Merlin would have a huge mess to clean in the morning. The realization that would never happen hit Arthur harder than anything. He slammed his fist into his pillow, fighting the sobs that threatened to rack through him. A man should not cry. He had told Merlin that no man was worth his tears, but he had been wrong. Oh so wrong. Merlin was worth all of his tears. He was worth every tear he was capable of crying.

He cursed himself for not sticking to their original plan and telling everyone about Merlin when he became king. It was Merlin's idea to wait until the shock of Morgana's betrayal had worn off. Arthur had agreed. One shock to his people at a time. Now he wished he hadn't waited. Merlin could have been protected.

Eventually Arthur went to sleep. It was the only thing that could temporarily abate the pain he was feeling. He slept fitfully, waking often. When he woke for the day, he saw the blurry outline of a man standing next to him. For a moment, he allowed his hopes to rise. It looked like Merlin. But as his eyes adjusted, disappointment and sorrow washed over him. It was a man that looked like Merlin. He was even dressed like Merlin. Yet he was not Merlin.

"Who are you?" Arthur asked annoyed. He knew he was irrationally angry, but hope was the most dangerous thing he could have right now. To have that sudden moment of hope be squashed immediately was painful.

"I am your new manservant, sire. A knight, Sir Gwaine hired me last night. I have polished your armor, sharpened your sword, selected your clothes. There is a slight chill in the air today, sir. And now, if you would allow me, I would like to serve you breakfast," the man said.

Arthur stared. He looked around and was surprised to see that his chambers were spotless. Any sign of his temper tantrum the night before was gone. The table was also covered with bread and fruit. Arthur could hear his stomach growl with hunger. This was different, but there was no way this man was staying. As incompetent as Merlin was sometimes, Arthur wouldn't ask for any other manservant.

"What's your name?" Arthur asked.

"George, sire, at your service," George said with a little bow. George unfolded a napkin and placed it on Arthur's chest.

"George, listen George, this is all very impressive," Arthur said. He was trying to find a diplomatic way of telling George he didn't require his services. George placed an extra pillow behind his head. Arthur's eyes widened. "Very impressive, indeed, but I already have a manservant. All right, he's shabby looking, he has appalling manners." Arthur lost his train of thought as George handed Arthur a goblet. "He's extremely forgetful. He seems to spend most of his time in the tavern." Arthur fought the smile that threatened to spread over him. This was no time for him to be reminiscing over the lies Gaius had concocted to explain Merlin's absence to the council. George handed him a plate, bringing Arthur back to reality. "But he is my manservant." Arthur handed the plate and goblet back to George. "To be honest, I quite like it that way." Arthur didn't care if Merlin was dead, he wouldn't take another manservant. He would just figure out how to do things for himself. It couldn't be that hard to fetch water… could it? He could picture the amused look that would flash across Merlin's face if Arthur had to ask how to make his own bath. Arthur shook his head, erasing that image.

Arthur tossed the napkin at George than scrambled out of bed. Arthur didn't spare a second glance for George as he ducked behind his changing screen.

Arthur quickly dressed. When he finished, he was relieved to see that George was gone. Arthur let out the breath he was holding. He was going to kill Gwaine.

Arthur went to the stables and had a horse prepared. As he was getting ready to depart, Gwaine walked up behind him. "You wouldn't by any chance be going to find Merlin," Gwaine inquired.

"I am," Arthur said in a stony voice.

"Well, allow me to accompany you," Gwaine told him.

Arthur sighed. It would be wise to have another man with him. The rest of his knights had given up, but Arthur knew that Gwaine regarded Merlin as a friend. He would be almost as reluctant as Arthur to just admit he was gone.

"Very well," Arthur said. He took a step away from his horse. "Have the servant prepare a horse."

Gwaine briefly entered the stables to give the orders. When he left, he turned to Arthur with a large smile on his face. "Speaking of servants, how is George?" He asked amused.

Arthur turned to Gwaine, trying to control his anger. "Was that your idea of a joke?" Arthur asked him quietly.

Gwaine looked taken aback by Arthur's tone. "No, of course not. I just thought that…" Gwaine started to say.

"That what?" Arthur asked angrily. "That it would be that simple for me to just let go of Merlin and forget him?"

"No," Gwaine said. He was puzzling over Arthur's reaction.

"I did not ask for a new manservant and I did not appreciate your interference. Merlin is out there and we're going to find him," Arthur said determinedly.

"But what if he isn't?" Gwaine asked quietly.

Arthur turned away, refusing to answer. After a few minutes has passed, Gwaine's horse had been prepared. They took off into the woods. Once they got there, they slowed and started searching for any signs of Merlin.

"You know what I like about Merlin?" Gwaine asked after they had been searching for hours. "All these things he does just for the good of doing them."

Arthur held his hand up to stop Gwaine. It wasn't that he didn't want to hear Gwaine talk about Merlin, because he did. He loved hearing about how other people looked up to Merlin and appreciated the good he did. But he was almost certain he had heard something moving.

He and Gwaine exchanged an anxious look as they heard the sound again. They dismounted their horses and drew their swords. "Declare yourself," Arthur ordered.

For a moment nothing happened, then a muddy figure stepped out from behind a tree. It was a figure Arthur would have recognized anywhere. Arthur lowered his sword. "Merlin!" He called excitedly. He was alive. Arthur felt a euphoria unlike any other. There was nothing that compared to this feeling of having thought that someone is dead and then finding them alive.

Arthur stuck his sword into the ground and walked towards Merlin. "I thought we'd lost you!" Arthur said. He couldn't help it as he let out a joyous chuckle. Arthur didn't care that he would get muddy. He threw his arms around Merlin.

To Arthur's surprise, Merlin stiffened in his hold as if the hug had been unexpected.

Arthur frowned slightly but attributed it to the traumatic experience Merlin had been through. He knew Merlin would need time to recover.

They traveled back to Camelot. It became apparent very quickly that something was not quite right with Merlin. From his rude comments to his degrading manner. He wasn't acting like Merlin. Arthur had to hope this was just the result of what he had been through. Even Gwaine noticed something was off.

Arthur wished Merlin would be normal again. He figured Merlin would need a day to recover then he would be back to his clumsy self. It was two days later, when Arthur realized Merlin had just tried to kill him, that he realized something was really wrong. Arthur hit him over the head with a water pitcher and carried him to Gaius's chambers.

Gaius was able to identify the Fomorroh in Merlin's neck. He paralyzed it and sent Merlin off to destroy the snake.

Arthur knew he could not go with Merlin. He would need to age to defeat the Fomorroh. Morgana couldn't see him as Merlin, but that didn't mean Arthur was any happier about Merlin walking straight into trouble.

Glancing around to make sure no one was watching, Arthur quickly hugged Merlin and kissed his cheek. "Be careful," he whispered. "And come back to me."

"I will," Merlin promised.

Merlin galloped away on his horse. Arthur never looked away. What Arthur was unaware of was that several of his knights were on patrol and had witnessed the whole thing.

Arthur refused to move. He sat on the stone steps and waited. He knew it was childish and some would say he was neglecting his duty, but he knew there was no point in trying to accomplish any work if his mind was somewhere else.

Hours passed while he waited. He was vaguely aware of the men and women passing through the courtyard. None came up to him for which he was grateful.

As the sun was rising, his knights were gathered not far from Arthur in the hopes of figuring out their orders for the day. None of them dared approach Arthur and ask for fear of the consequences.

The sound of horseshoes clanking on gravel pervaded through the air. Arthur's eyes snapped up. He was exhausted. It had been a long time since he got a good night's sleep.

Merlin galloped straight into the courtyard and dismounted his horse. Arthur met him half way. "You-you're you?" Arthur asked uncertainly. He wasn't sure if Merlin managed to kill the Fomorroh. If he hadn't, Arthur didn't know what he would do.

Merlin smiled hugely. "I'm me again," he said. He couldn't help himself as he threw his arms around Arthur.

Conscious of the audience they had, they broke apart quickly. A frenzied whisper spread through the knights. It wasn't about the hug. They had seen the king hug his manservant many a times. It was the look they had shared afterwards. The look that said that nothing mattered as long as they were together.

Just like that, they understood.


	5. The Crystal Caves

**Season 1 Episode 13.**

**Story 13: Until the Day I Die**

**Chapter 5: The Crystal Caves**

The last person to find out was Morgana. It was right after she sent the creature to get rid of Merlin's powers.

Merlin had rushed to Arthur's chambers. He knew there was only one way of getting his powers back and more importantly, he knew Arthur wasn't going to like it.

Merlin barged into Arthur's chambers without knocking. He never knocked anymore. He knew Arthur was faithful to him and he had no fear of walking in on something he shouldn't.

For the first two years, the council pestered Arthur about taking a queen, but Arthur refused vehemently every time. All of a sudden, they stopped. Arthur had puzzled over it for weeks, but had eventually decided that the council knew Arthur would not change his mind on the matter.

Arthur looked up and couldn't help the smile that spread across his face. It had been nearly ten years and Merlin still affected him the same as he always had. Arthur's smile faded as he took in the distress in Merlin's expression.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked as he rose to his feet. "What's wrong? What happened?"

"Mordred. He must have told Morgana about my powers," Merlin whispered. "She sent a creature, Gaius called it a gean canach."

"What happened?" Arthur asked anxiously.

"It took my powers," Merlin said quietly. He felt so helpless. "I can't use my magic."

Arthur froze. He didn't know what to say to that. Merlin's powers were as much a part of him as his arm or his leg. "I'm so sorry," Arthur whispered. "I never should have trusted Mordred. You were right. It was a stupid plan."

"No," Merlin disagreed. "It was wise. You hoped that by keeping Mordred close to you, you would notice if he did something to try to kill you. If you had thrown him aside, this would only have happened sooner."

"I could have had him jailed," Arthur said. He knew his words weren't true, but he felt too guilty to not try and think of a way he could have prevented this.

"For what? Being destined to kill you? Don't be stupid," Merlin told him. He knew Arthur was going to try to blame himself. Merlin walked over to Arthur and gently placed his hand on his cheek. He could feel the rough stubble that Arthur hadn't had a chance to shave off yet. "It's not your fault. I should have known Mordred would seek his revenge. I should have been more careful."

"Is there anything you can do?" Arthur asked him hopefully. He knew Merlin wouldn't abandon him. Powers or not, Merlin would be by his side.

"There is," Merlin said hesitantly. "There is a place in the Valley of the Fallen Kings. The Crystal Caves. It is the birthplace of magic. I may be able to find someone who can restore my magic there."

"You can't," Arthur said worriedly. "The Valley of the Fallen Kings is teeming with bandits. Without your powers, you would be helpless against them."

"I have to," Merlin told him. "I can't just leave you unprotected. Without my powers, I can't help you and I can't just let you die!"

"Then I'm coming with you," Arthur said stubbornly.

"You know as well as I that you can't," Merlin said with a sigh. He wished he could take Arthur with him. He hated parting from Arthur. Arthur always managed to get hurt when they weren't together. But Merlin knew it was necessary. Just this once, he knew it was necessary. "You have an obligation to your people, to your knights. You are marching out to battle tomorrow. If you are with me, there will be no one to guide your men."

Arthur groaned. He hated when Merlin made sense. Arthur stared at the table he had been working at for several minutes before he thought of a solution. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than Merlin going with no protection. And he knew Merlin would go. Whether Arthur approved it or not, Merlin would travel to the place where he could get his magic back. "Take Gwaine with you," Arthur said.

"What?" Merlin asked startled.

"Ask Gwaine to accompany you. Gwaine is one of my most loyal knights and he is without a doubt the best swordsman. He will be able to protect you on the way to the Valley of the Fallen Kings," Arthur said. "Once you get there and get your powers back, you will be able to find your way back to me safely. Gwaine could meet us at Camlann."

Merlin winced. No matter how many times he had tried to convince Arthur against it, he still insisted on marching to Camlann. He didn't care if he would meet his death there. He felt owed it to his people. Reluctantly, he agreed. Merlin left to go ask Gwaine to accompany him. Arthur stared at his table. He would never be able to concentrate on his battle plans now. Arthur cursed Mordred and Morgana. Why now? Why did they have to target Merlin now? They were so close. If this battle proved to be fatal to Morgana, he and Merlin would be able to tell everyone about their relationship. He had known that with Merlin's powers, he and Merlin would be safe. He trusted Merlin with his life. But now, he was afraid.

Merlin returned an hour later to tell him that he and Gwaine would be departing within the hour. Merlin briefly kissed Arthur before he went to prepare for his travels. Arthur went to Gwaine's house to personally thank him for escorting Merlin. Arthur knew that his relationship with Merlin was a secret, but it wouldn't be strange for a king to thank his knight for protecting his manservant.

When he was about to knock on the door, he heard voices. Gwaine was saying goodbye to a woman. Arthur couldn't help but roll his eyes. He had seen Gwaine with this girl a couple of times. He truly seemed to have feelings for her. Arthur waited until Gwaine told her where he was going and she wished him safe travels to knock on the door.

Gwaine called for him to enter. The girl, Eira curtsied to Arthur, then left with one last nervous look at Gwaine. "My lord," Gwaine said surprised.

"I just wanted to thank you for escorting Merlin to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. He is seeking something there that could mean the difference between our victory or our defeat. It is of utmost importance that he arrive there safely. I am trusting you with this task. Please be careful," Arthur said quietly.

Gwaine had to resist his eye roll. Practically the whole kingdom knew about Arthur's feelings for Merlin. He didn't know why Arthur tried to hide it. "I won't let you down my lord," Gwaine promised. Arthur nodded and began to leave. Gwaine was struck by the fear and hopelessness that spread across Arthur's face. He was really frightened for Merlin. "Arthur?" Arthur turned to look at Gwaine curiously. "I'll keep Merlin safe. I won't let any harm come to him."

"Thank you," Arthur said sincerely. "I know I don't say this enough, but Merlin is my friend. I don't want to see him come to any harm." With that, Arthur walked out the door.

"Right. Friend," Gwaine said, shaking his head after the door closed. Gwaine finished fastening his boot then went to wait for Merlin outside of the stables. He knew they were traveling on foot, but this was where they had decided to meet.

Arthur wasn't standing far from the stables. He had intended to see Merlin off and wish them luck, but he was distracted by a shadow sneaking into the castle through the servant's entrance. Arthur groaned. He didn't know if he was going to see Merlin again, but every instinct was yelling at him to follow the shadow.

Reluctantly, Arthur made himself move. He had to trust that Gwaine would be able to keep Merlin safe. He had to trust that he would get to see Merlin again, that they would be reunited in Camlann.

Arthur followed the shadow. He made sure to stay a discrete distance away. The person was wearing a black cloak and seemed to be searching for something. Finally she found it. They were in the back of the castle, towards the windows that faced the lower village. There was a crow sitting on one of the windows.

The person took off her hood and Arthur was shocked to see that it was Eira, the girl Gwaine was so besotted with. She attached some sort of note to the crow and whispered, "Morgana Pendragon." The crow flew off.

Arthur felt his blood go cold. He acted on instinct. He lunged towards the girl and restrained her. "What did you tell her?" Arthur demanded. He knew the girl would be uncomfortable. He had twisted her arm and pressed it to her back.

"Nothing," the girl lied.

"Tell me," Arthur warned.

"I didn't tell her… Ah!" The girl screamed as Arthur twisted her arm harder. He hated to do this, but he needed to know what she had shared with Morgana. "I just told her Gwaine was escorting Merlin to the Valley of the Fallen Kings so I wouldn't have anything further to tell her. Please, I didn't mean any harm."

"Guards!" Arthur yelled. He didn't have any time to spare. Merlin would be walking straight into a trap. Arthur needed to get to him. Eira wouldn't realize how valuable that information would be to Morgana. Without his powers, Merlin would be defenseless against Morgana. She could finish him off without a second thought.

Two guards rushed to Arthur's aid. "Lock her up," Arthur said, pushing the girl towards one of his knights. "She has been collaborating with Morgana. She will be executed at dawn."

"No. please sir! I didn't mean any harm. I swear," Eira pleaded. Her begging fell on deaf ears. She had endangered Merlin. To Arthur, that was inexcusable.

Arthur started to search for Sir Leon. Despite his diligence, it was a long time before he located him. "Sir Leon," Arthur said carefully. "There is something of utmost importance I must see to. The girl, Eira, has betrayed Gwaine and has revealed the location of a secret place Merlin and Gwaine have gone to. I must leave soon if I wish to catch them before they walk straight into a trap. It would be detrimental indeed if Morgana were to meet them there. If that happens, Camelot may be doomed."

Leon's jaw dropped. He quickly recovered himself. "What do you wish me to do my lord?" He asked uncertainly.

"I need you to carry out Eira's execution at dawn and then I need you to march to Camlann. Sir Gwaine, Merlin, and I will meet you there if all is successful," Arthur told him.

Leon was about to object, but he swallowed his complaints. Merlin was in danger and he knew there would be no dissuading the king. "As you wish my lord," Leon said with a bow.

Arthur departed after that. He had the stable boy prepare a horse. He hoped that by going on horse, he would be able to overtake them. He didn't have much hope. The Valley of the Fallen Kings wasn't far by foot and they had a couple of hours head start on him. They would probably be arriving within the hour. It would take Arthur at least two to get there.

Arthur hopped on the horse the moment it was deemed ready and took off. He didn't stop once. There was no need to on such a short journey. The sun was peeking at the horizon as Arthur neared the caves.

Arthur passed Gwaine when he was only minutes from the caves. He couldn't help the fear that rose in him when he saw Gwaine was alone. When Gwaine saw him, he scrunched his forehead in confusion. Arthur shook his head. "Go to Camlann. Leon will need your assistance. Merlin and I will be there soon," Arthur promised. He had no idea if that was true, but he had to hope it was.

Arthur entered the caves. He heard footsteps running towards the cave. He ducked into a tunnel. Merlin was already here. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Morgana enter the caves. He had been right.

Arthur sneakily followed Morgana, his hand resting on Excalibur. He remembered what Merlin told him when he had explained exactly what Excalibur was. It was the only weapon that could kill Morgana.

Arthur followed her until he saw Merlin. Merlin was holding a single crystal as if it alone held the all the answers. Morgana was sneaking up behind him, holding a dagger in her hand.

"Merlin!" Arthur called, terrified.

He had called Merlin just in time for Merlin to duck under Morgana's swing and get far enough away to be out of her range. Morgana kept an eye on Arthur as she began her attack on Merlin.

"What are you doing here?" Merlin asked angrily. "Do you know how reckless this is?" Merlin ducked as Morgana used magic to make the dagger shoot towards him.

"Eira told Morgana that you would be coming here," Arthur told him. "I couldn't let you walk straight into a trap!"

Merlin side stepped the dagger. "But you put yourself in danger. And now who's going to lead your men to battle?" Merlin asked.

"I gave Leon his orders. He used to lead the knights until I became old enough. I believe him capable of doing this," Arthur explained.

He watched as Merlin did an awkward sideways jump to avoid the dagger and winced as Merlin's arm made a sickening noise as he fell to the ground. Merlin brushed off the jarring pain the impact had caused. He quickly got to his feet. "You still shouldn't be here," Merlin warned. "You're as defenseless as I am against Morgana."

"I couldn't just leave you," Arthur told him quietly.

"You should have anyway," Merlin told him. He allowed himself to take deep breaths as Morgana ceased her attack on him. She was looking back and forth between Arthur and Merlin curiously.

They could see the exact moment that Morgana realized that there was something more between them than king and manservant. Arthur took advantage of her distraction and plunged Excalibur through Morgana's back. He could feel it twist as it scraped across bone. He pulled it out and watched as her shocked expression twisted with pain. She fell to the ground.

In the split second before the light faded from her eyes, she understood.


	6. Of Course We Knew

**Season 1 Episode 13.**

**Story 13: Until the Day I Die**

**Chapter 6: Of Course We Knew**

Merlin and Arthur stared at Morgana's body for a moment before Merlin ran to Arthur. He captured Arthur in a kiss. "You did it," Merlin said in between kisses. "You did it!"

Arthur twisted one arm around Merlin's back, deepening the kiss. Their relief was fueling their passion. They knew that this would mean they didn't have to keep any more secrets. Merlin could finally tell Gaius, Arthur could tell his knights. They could tell everyone. Merlin didn't have to keep any more secrets. He could be himself.

Merlin had a moment of clarity as he thought about who he was. His magic no longer was the only thing that defined him. If he didn't have his magic, he would still have Arthur. He was a man in love with Arthur, but it was more than that. Magic or not, he would protect Arthur or die trying. With that realization, Merlin felt as if a dam had broken. His powers flooded back to him. One look at Arthur and he knew Arthur had felt it too.

When they broke apart, a smile spread across both of their faces. The end of Morgana marked the end of much more. It marked the end of the secrets and the lies. Their excitement bubbled and threatened to make them far too giddy.

Merlin was the first to remember. "Camlann," he said, his face darkening.

Arthur's face drained of its color. "Is there still a threat there?" He asked uncertainly. Morgana had declared war, but she was dead.

"Without Morgana, the Saxons will be disorganized and won't be able to cause as much damage, but there is still a war. They will still fight," Merlin told him.

"Then we mustn't wait any longer. I rode here on a horse. We can ride together," Arthur told him.

Merlin nodded and followed him. It was heart breaking how quickly their beautiful moment had been squashed by the dark tendrils of reality. They were so close. So close to their freedom, so close to being able to tell the world who they truly were. There was one last obstacle that stood in their way. Camlann.

They arrived at Camlann three hours later.

It was as Merlin said. The Saxons were disorganized, but they were all trained soldiers. There were many Saxon bodies spread through the battle field, but Arthur could see the red cloaks that indicated he had lost many men as well. He and Merlin charged to the battle field. From there everything passed in a blur.

He and Merlin moved as one unit. Merlin supplied the magic and Arthur supplied the blunt force. Between the two of them, they were unstoppable. Arthur didn't know how many men they had slayed until he finally noticed they were retreating. He and Merlin temporarily paused in their fight. There were no immediate threats. They looked around where other men were struggling with scores of men.

"We have to split up," Merlin told him. "We have to help your knights."

Arthur looked at Merlin. He was dirty. His face was smeared and he looked like he was on the brink of collapsing from exhaustion. But there was a determination the likes of which Arthur seldom saw in Merlin. Arthur quickly kissed him. "Be careful," he said before he ran off to where three of his men were fighting about twenty Saxons. He knew Merlin would be running in the other direction.

Hours and hours passed as they fought. Arthur felt his arm burn in protest every time he lifted his sword. He felt his legs scream with every step he took. But their work paid off. The Saxons they hadn't slain retreated. Arthur raised his sword arm in victory and his men joined in his cheers. Arthur spun around, trying to find Merlin. His heart nearly jumped out of his chest when he saw Merlin backed against the wall of the mountain surrounded by six men. The men were Saxons.

Arthur moved on auto-pilot. He had been careless. He should never have let Merlin out of his sight.

Ignoring his screaming legs, Arthur ran with a renewed vigor. He slipped in between two of the Saxons and stood casually between them and Merlin. For the first time, he noticed that Merlin was clutching his side. There was a frightening looking blood stain around the wound he tried to hide. "What happened?" Arthur asked furiously.

"Arthur, I'm fine. Calm down," Merlin told him. Arthur glared at him until he gave him an answer. Merlin groaned. "You know. You're too stubborn for your own good. I was stabbed obviously. It's not life threatening." Merlin dropped his voice, but Arthur heard him mutter, "yet."

Arthur stood in between the Saxons and Merlin with his sword at the ready. "I just need your help with this, then I'll get you back to Gaius so he can patch you up," Arthur told him. "One last thing I need of you."

Arthur didn't need to look to know that Merlin would have nodded his head. Arthur lunged at one of the Saxons, swiping across his chest then bringing his sword in a loop to block a blow from another. He heard Merlin whisper something under his breath and saw two Saxons collide into one another, banging their heads. They fell to the ground unconscious. Arthur frowned. Merlin must be weaker than he was letting on if that's all he could do.

Arthur stabbed his sword through one Saxons chest. He pulled it out and turned to the two remaining Saxons. To his surprise, they were dangling in midair and both looked rather frightened. Arthur looked at Merlin confused and was alarmed to see that he was slumped against the wall of the mountain. Arthur didn't hesitate to kill both of the defenseless Saxons.

He kneeled by Merlin's side. "Merlin," he called. Merlin's eyes flickered in recognition of Arthur's voice. "Merlin!"

Merlin's eyes finally flew open. "Heal yourself," Arthur ordered. "At least a little bit. Just so you can make it back to Camelot. I know you cannot do it all the way, but do a little. Do what you can."

Merlin nodded. He opened and closed his mouth several times in his silent spell. He didn't have the strength to speak out loud, but he knew this would be enough. A soft white light enveloped the wound, closing the surface of it. Merlin let out a sigh of relief. He hadn't healed himself, not by far, but he had taken the measures to prevent himself from bleeding to death.

Arthur froze when he saw Mordred lying dead at Merlin's feet. "I couldn't help it," Merlin whispered. "I tried not to, but it was the only way I could stop him."

Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin. "It's okay Merlin," he told him.

Merlin stared at Arthur and Arthur stared right back. In that moment, they didn't think about the hundreds of men that could see them, they didn't consider that there might be repercussions. All they cared about was that they had survived. They would have the rest of their lives to regret it.

Merlin and Arthur leaned forward and kissed. It wasn't a long kiss, but it sent the silent message they couldn't find the words to say out loud. It showed them just how relieved they were to have this moment. They had done the impossible. They had kept their relationship hidden for ten years, keeping it hidden from Uther and Gaius and all of the knights and all of the people of Camelot. They had managed to survive even when all the odds were stacked against them. Their kiss told them how grateful they were for that.

When they broke apart, Merlin froze, looking behind them. Arthur turned and had the unpleasant sensation of being looked at as if he were in an exhibit. Arthur cleared his throat uncomfortably. He hadn't given much thought to how he would tell his knights.

"Finally," Gwaine called out. "We thought you were going to try and keep this secret forever."

Arthur's jaw dropped and he knew Merlin would be similarly shocked.

"You-you knew?" Merlin spluttered.

"Of course we knew," Percival called out.

"Did you think you were subtle?" Gwaine asked amused.

"We had decided not to address it sire," Leon explained. "We figured when you were ready to, you would tell us."

Merlin and Arthur glanced at each other, sharing in their confusion. "But how did you find out?" Arthur asked confused. They had always been so careful.

"Well aside from the fact that whenever one of you is in trouble the other one looks like they're having kittens, it was pretty obvious in the way you talk," Gwaine explained. "And the fact that you guys make lovey faces at each other when you think we aren't looking."

Arthur closed his eyes. He wasn't sure how he felt right now. Definitely embarrassed. Definitely relieved. He let out the breath he was holding. Snapping into king mode, he started barking orders. "Dig a ditch on the far side of the mountain. All of the Saxons are to be buried there," Arthur glanced at Mordred. "As is Mordred." It pained him to do that, but Mordred had committed treason. He didn't deserve the burial the knights would get. "Assemble the bodies of our fallen warriors. They will receive a proper burial back at Camelot. We will depart as soon as that is completed."

There was a bustle as all of the knights began sorting through bodies. It was fortunate that so many knights remained as it took them under an hour to complete the tasks Arthur had asked for. Arthur hadn't left Merlin's side. None of the knights begrudged him that. Merlin was hurt, more than he was willing to let Arthur know. He kept losing consciousness and Arthur kept slapping him to make him wake up.

The moment they were ready to depart, Arthur rode ahead with Merlin. He told his knights he wanted to scout ahead, but from their eye rolls, he knew they had guessed his true intentions.

Arthur forced himself not to travel too far ahead. He had to remind himself that Merlin would be okay. Once he was inside the gates, he had attempted to help his knights, but Leon had sent him away. "Get Merlin to Gaius," Leon told him. "You'll be no help if part of your mind is on Merlin."

Arthur nodded and did not hesitate to scoop Merlin up and carry him to Gaius. Merlin had passed out an hour earlier. Nothing Arthur did would wake him. If it weren't for Merlin's uneven breathing, Arthur would think he was dead. It was so similar to that day, nearly ten years ago, when Arthur had carried Merlin after they had returned from the Isle of the Blessed. Arthur hoped he'd be that fortunate again and that Merlin would live.

When Arthur entered Gaius's chambers, he and Gwen were patching up one of the knights that had been sent back to Camelot in the midst of the battle.

They turned and Gaius paled when he saw Merlin. "My bed," he told Arthur. "Quickly." He left Gwen to finish helping the knight.

Gaius pushed Merlin's shirt to the side to examine the wound. After a little poking and prodding, Gaius was able to figure out what was wrong inside of Merlin. He bustled to his work bench and prepared a blue liquid. Glancing at Arthur nervously, Gaius whispered something to the liquid. It glowed for a split second then returned to its ordinary color.

"What did you do?" Arthur asked curiously.

"The sword Merlin was stabbed with has caused internal damage. I am not as powerful as I once was, but I am powerful enough to do this. I have enchanted the potion so it will repair his injury," Gaius explained. He looked exhausted.

Arthur didn't question him further. He held Merlin's head up so Gaius could pour the liquid into Merlin's mouth. "Swallow Merlin," Arthur whispered. "Swallow."

To their relief, he did. It only took an hour, but eventually, Merlin woke up. Arthur let out a happy chuckle. Merlin didn't share in his euphoria. Not yet. He looked for Gaius. Gaius was like his father and he wanted him to hear about him and Arthur. He feared how Gaius might take it though. "Gaius," Merlin called.

Gaius walked over to Merlin's side. A smile spread across his face as he saw Merlin. "You've got to stop almost dying Merlin," Gaius warned.

"I'll get right on that," Merlin said amused. His amusement vanished. "There's something I need to tell you." Merlin was vaguely aware that Gwen was listening in, but he didn't care. Merlin glanced at Arthur nervously. "Arthur and I… well we… what I mean to say is that we are… um…"

"I know Merlin," Gaius told him.

"I don't think you do," Merlin said softly. "You see we are–"

"A couple. Yes we know," Gwen said impatiently. "The whole kingdom knows. You two are the only people that don't know that everyone knows."

Merlin clumsily got to his feet. "Where are you going?" Gaius asked him.

"To reflect on how I was able to keep my magic secret from everyone but not my relationship," Merlin said grumpily.

"You have magic?" Gwen asked surprised.

Merlin didn't answer her question as he walked out. Arthur quickly followed him. "Merlin," Arthur said gently. "It wasn't just your fault. It was mine as well. Don't take this personally."

"How did people realize?" Merlin asked. "We were so careful."

"I don't know," Arthur answered honestly. "And to be frank, I don't care. This makes our job easier. If everyone already knows we won't face as many objections. And most people won't be surprised."

"Surprised by what? Apparently, there's nothing to be surprised about," Merlin told him bitterly.

"Oh, but there is," Arthur said. A nervous smile spread across his face. He pulled Merlin into a corridor. "Merlin for years, we have had to keep our relationship secret. Even if everyone knew about it, it was still a secret to us. I have waited nigh on ten years to ask you this question."

"Ask me what?" Merlin asked confused.

"Will you marry me?" Arthur asked him.

Merlin stared. And stared. And stared. Finally he processed that this was really happening. Arthur had truly just asked him to marry him.

Merlin threw his arms around Arthur. If Arthur had been waiting ten years to ask that question, Merlin had been waiting ten years to answer it. "Yes," Merlin whispered. "Yes."

They were married just a few days later. As they were leaving the castle's chapel, Arthur turned to Merlin. "You're my husband," he said in a joyous voice.

"And you are mine," Merlin responded. There was a twinkle in his eyes. "And you will be until the day I die."

The End

**Let me know what you think! I really hope you enjoyed it :)**


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